So theres a lot going on right now. i am not going to type it because no one HONESTLY cares. so yeah.....

 

when  becky does move out... i am going to stop eating all together. yay! finally... the perfect body!

 

go to hell,

cory!

 

Damn. Update time. Nothing really has happend. Just shitty day after shitty day. Nothing. Boring Nothingness.

 

I have just been down and havent wanted to do much. Just sit at home. Same ol' shit. Death is always an option! Today I was really down and I just really wanted to get all coked out....

 

Good Night to you... Hello Night to me.

 

So this will be a full and intense update. I hope. Thats what I really need, to dump all my emotions and pains onto the internet. The only thing I can trust. The internet.

 

Drugs. Drugs can ruin everything and trust me if you let them in they will ruin it. Whatever it is. I hate drugs. I hate them. Why do I have to have them. I hate the people who do them. I hate them. I hate IT! I cant stand that I like, no LOVE, drugs. By "drugs" I mean: Pot, Cocaine, Alchohol, and any other illegal substance I can find and afford. It has ruined my friendship with Jennifer, Allie isnt the same, Becky doesnt do much besides drugs, DJ and JP are both addicted to any drug you can think of. I wish I could just leave and never come back. I wish. O I do wish. I am not saying that I do drugs all the time. But they are always in my face. Not only has it ruined so many things and sooo many people. My sister relapsed from rehab and did "dope" (meth). I hate it.

 

Parents. Parents are nothing but stress. I cant even stand to be in the same house and my mom. I sometimes just want to move out and never come back. I hate it here. Its so hostile. It seems to be my fault that she fucked up HER life. She hasnt ruined mine, but I am sure that if I stay here with her I will go crazy. We had everything: Money, Homes (yes HOMES), 6 Cars, Happiness, LOVE! Its all gone. Just so she could move here and be with Arthur. He is a nothing. My mom has dated millionaires and she ruined everything she ever had with any of them. How can I go from having a million dollar home in Texas to a MORTGAGED 100,000 dollar home? This just proves that everything WILL turn to shit.

 

Friends. It seems that all my friendships are because of drugs and shit. I have no friends I can go to to escape it. I love Becky. I would and have done everything for her. BUT she is too much into drugs. She has no ambition. The only friend I see going somewhere is Bailey. She is just Bailey. She can seem to keep it under control. She only drinks (what teenager doesnt at least once-in-awhile?) once in awhile and she smokes pot, but hey, some adults I know smoke pot.

 

School. I cant even stand getting up for school anymore. I have to literally drag myself out of bed in the morning. I hate it. I have fallen so far behind. I will be surprised if I graduate. I was supposed to graduate early but I really dont see that happening at this point. I have seemed to manange to fail most of my classes thus far. I just hope I can make most of my work up within the next week. PLEASE GOD!

 

Linda Belle. LB is the most loyal person and I have betrayed her. I always seem to dump things on her and I just seem to be a horrible friend. I just wish I could be a better friend. I wish I could move back to Texas.

 

Today was just a bad day. I thought about suicide (seriously) for the first time, in a long time. Damn it. I wish I could just feel better.

 

 

Havent been up to much. Same ol' things.

 

Heres my horoscope for today: